Bird Crap on my Head »
My girlfriend went to Wilson High School in Tacoma where she developed an acute phobia of birds pooping on her head. Apparently there is a courtyard there painted in pigeon poo and crossing it involved a nightmarish navigation to dodge of these overhead doo-gooders. Thing is, she's never been crapped so she doens't quite know what it is she's afraid of (besides knowing it'll be a gross mess).
I, on the other hand, do know. Funny enough I've had my doused in doo-doo twice, both sometime around 2002-2003. These days I only remember one clearly; it was probably the first time I'd been pooped on. I was waiting to cross a street during an overcast day and I felt a drop on my head. Well, I thought it was a drop of water. Luckily my danger avoidance kicked in and I did not touch my head ... ewe.
Instead I looked up and in a small tree overhanging the corner of the sidewalk was a tiny bird. I mean, this was a teeny little bugger and he was doing a happy jig like nothing else. I imagine the amount of shit he unleashed on my head had been weighing him down quite a bit and now he was doing his done-doody dance. Whistling and dancing I took of my hat in dismay to examine it. Yes, I was also wearing a hat. I'm not sure if I was all that lucky, though, considering a bird crapped on me.
A very large, drippy mess now crowned my baseball cap ... very large, and gross. I did what anyone would do in that situation, I just started laughing uncontrolably. I'm sure I made quite the site, standing on the side of the street chuckling merrily at a hat covered in poop. My next step, of course, involved bringing it to the office (which wasn't far off) and showing it to everyone.
"Check it out! A bird crapped on my head!"
"Wow!"
In my defense, I don't think it had much to do with aim even if the bird was trying to hit me. Afterall I do have a rather large cranial surface area making me an easy target.
bombs away