Bird Crap on my Head »
My girlfriend went to Wilson High School in Tacoma where she developed an acute phobia of birds pooping on her head. Apparently there is a courtyard there painted in pigeon poo and crossing it involved a nightmarish navigation to dodge of these overhead doo-gooders. Thing is, she's never been crapped so she doens't quite know what it is she's afraid of (besides knowing it'll be a gross mess).
I, on the other hand, do know. Funny enough I've had my doused in doo-doo twice, both sometime around 2002-2003. These days I only remember one clearly; it was probably the first time I'd been pooped on. I was waiting to cross a street during an overcast day and I felt a drop on my head. Well, I thought it was a drop of water. Luckily my danger avoidance kicked in and I did not touch my head ... ewe.
Instead I looked up and in a small tree overhanging the corner of the sidewalk was a tiny bird. I mean, this was a teeny little bugger and he was doing a happy jig like nothing else. I imagine the amount of poop he unleashed on my head had been weighing him down quite a bit and now he was doing his done-doody dance. Whistling and dancing I took of my hat in dismay to examine it. Yes, I was also wearing a hat. I'm not sure if I was all that lucky, though, considering a bird crapped on me.
A very large, drippy mess now crowned my baseball cap ... very large, and gross. I did what anyone would do in that situation, I just started laughing uncontrolably. I'm sure I made quite the site, standing on the side of the street chuckling merrily at a hat covered in poop. My next step, of course, involved bringing it to the office (which wasn't far off) and showing it to everyone.
"Check it out! A bird crapped on my head!"
"Wow!"
In my defense, I don't think it had much to do with aim even if the bird was trying to hit me. Afterall I do have a rather large cranial surface area making me an easy target.
Thanks goes to Neil for this submission!
I, on the other hand, do know. Funny enough I've had my doused in doo-doo twice, both sometime around 2002-2003. These days I only remember one clearly; it was probably the first time I'd been pooped on. I was waiting to cross a street during an overcast day and I felt a drop on my head. Well, I thought it was a drop of water. Luckily my danger avoidance kicked in and I did not touch my head ... ewe.
Instead I looked up and in a small tree overhanging the corner of the sidewalk was a tiny bird. I mean, this was a teeny little bugger and he was doing a happy jig like nothing else. I imagine the amount of poop he unleashed on my head had been weighing him down quite a bit and now he was doing his done-doody dance. Whistling and dancing I took of my hat in dismay to examine it. Yes, I was also wearing a hat. I'm not sure if I was all that lucky, though, considering a bird crapped on me.A very large, drippy mess now crowned my baseball cap ... very large, and gross. I did what anyone would do in that situation, I just started laughing uncontrolably. I'm sure I made quite the site, standing on the side of the street chuckling merrily at a hat covered in poop. My next step, of course, involved bringing it to the office (which wasn't far off) and showing it to everyone.
"Check it out! A bird crapped on my head!"
"Wow!"
In my defense, I don't think it had much to do with aim even if the bird was trying to hit me. Afterall I do have a rather large cranial surface area making me an easy target.
Thanks goes to Neil for this submission!
bombs away